Welcome to my blog dedicated to my Journey with Teal....Ovarian Cancer. This blog is where I will make updates to my treatments and tests....hoping to keep blog friends updated and answer any questions from visitors. I did not pick this journey, but am doing the best I know how to walk strong and gracefully, with my Lord's continual strength!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Not a Great day..

I did not have chemo today. The current treatment is not working enough to keep me on this clinical trial. My tumors are growing, slowly, but none the less growing.

So on to plan, I don't know H???

Yes, I am very sad, I cried a lot....but what can I do? It is what it is.

We have a new plan. I don't know all the details and I won't be starting for a bit. The side effects can be very various...so I could do wonderful or not so good.

One of the side effects is anorexia - I can safely say, I think I am safe from that!....Yes, more steroids...oh man....and possibly some hair loss. I hope not. My hair dresser though said if it is just thinning, she can do extensions or weives....so, at least there is help.

I hate posting this....but that is what this blog is for....so I give the bad and the good.

Oh, and when the going gets tough....the tough really d0 go shopping. Check it out at my other blog...Thinkin of Home.


Lynn @ Painting Thyme Needfuls said...

I am just so very , very sorry.........
I wish I could just give you a great bigh hug.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
PS I'm going to go check out what you went shopping for:)

Bernie said...

Oh sweetie I am so sorry that you didn't get chemo and about the news you received today.
I am praying so hard for you....I love that you are thinking ahead as to what to do for hair loss. My hair never did come back like it was before Chemo but hey there are always wigs or scarves.
Take care and know that your blogging friends care so much and are praying for you and your family....Hugs

Cindy (Applestone Cottage) said...

Hi Ceekay,
Thinking of you dear and hoping for a new treatment that will work better. I look forward to seeing you next week. My thoughts and prayers are with you too. Cindy

Dee@FrenchBleuVintage said...

You are a riot - you went shopping - GOOD FOR YOU!!! Do it again tomorrow. My husband actually works for Bristol Meyers Squibb and he knows an awful lot about cancer clinical trials and different new drugs. I will ask him to do some searching tomorrow and see if he comes up with any other leads. I know its hard - but chin up Ceekay - something will work. They are making great progress with ovarian cancer research. In the meantime Saint Jude is amazing and he has seriously NEVER let me down. Tonight I will pray with him for you.

Dee xoxo

Shelia said...

Oh, Dear Ceekay! I'm sorry, Dear One to hear this, but I'm praying the new treatment will be a winner and the side effects just won't happen. You are an inspiration with your sweet cheerful spirit. I pray right now our mighty God will hold you in His loving arms and give you peace, hope and healing.
Love you,
Shelia ;)

Walking on Sunshine... said...

So sorry to hear this. I'm praying for you.

Heather said...

I'm so sorry Ceekay. You know I'm praying for you every day. I hope this next treatment is the winner.

Karen said...

How can they tell so soon? Are they doing a CA125? Those aren't totally reliable. Did they do an ultra sound?
No this was not the news I wanted to hear. But am excited to hear you do have a new plan. Were you ever on Toxol?
Well, you have a HELL OF A LOT of women and friends in blogland who are praying for you. Who knows, the Lord just might get sick of hearing from us all . . .
The good news about the side effects - you don't have to shave your legs any more . . . GRIN!
We will gab the night away when I'm over next weekend . . . YAY!

Julie@beingRUBY said...

Hi Ceekay
Well I just love your sense of humour.. in the midst of all this worry you still make us laugh.. good for you...

I think Karen and the girls are right!! a lot of ppl out there praying and wishing you well!! Hang in there.. you are inspirational with that sense of humour!! I'm going to check out your shopping trip now and see what damage you did !! xx Julie

Yellow Rose Arbor said...

I weep with you, Ceekay! I pray for you a lot, every time the Lord brings you to mind ("a lot!") I don't like the trials we have to experience in this life. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. Today's lesson was on "being in the desert," as Jesus was. He is our hope! How could anybody walk through the desert without Him! I'm thankful you have Jesus in your life to walk with you!

I'm praying for wisdom for the doctors with the new treatments.


Linda said...

Ceekay, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm praying for you and for the new treatment having good results...hugs, Linda

Tardevil said...

So sorry to hear the treatment isn't working. One of my favorite sayings is when God closes a door, he opens a window...or something like that. Your window will open. Keep the faith!

Celestina Marie said...

Dear Ceekay, I am so sorry to hear about the latest. I pray that God opens the way for a plan that will be the best for you. I know he will see you through this rough patch.
Thank you for your bravery in posting along this journey. Even in distress, you continue to inspire with your fight and courage.

Sending you big hugs and remember, we are all here for you to lean on.
Love, Celestina Marie

Scooterblu's Whimsy~Rhonda said...

Ceekay, I am so very sorry! We'll continue with the plan of lots and lots of prayers!!! Mine are with you, dear friend! ~big hugs and much love, Rhonda

The Homemaker In High Heels said...

I'm a new follower.You have really touched my heart.Please know that you and your precious family have my prayers.

Susan said...

You and your family are in my prayers. Sending lots of hugs and love.

Anonymous said...

Ah, Ceekay, that was some danged cruddy news. I, too, am so sorry it wasn't better..especially since it was right before your birthday.
You are such an amazing gal. . . facing your fight with such determination and grace. I also continue to keep you in my prayers. . .L, dana

Miss Janice said...

I just prayed for you...that God will guide your physicians during your treatment and place his arms around you and comfort you to give you the strength to fight your battle.

Cami @ Creating Myself said...

Oh Ceekay, what awful news! Love your fighting spirit though...it'll pull you through lots of bad spots in life. You remain in my prayers friend.

Shari @ My Cottage of Bliss said...

I just hate it when bad things happen to good people. It's just not right! Try to stay positive and I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that so many people are thinking and praying for you.

Sandi@ My Yellow Door said...

Oh, Ceekay, I'm so sorry the treatments are not working. At times like this, one feels so helpless but that is when one must reach out and touch the hem of His garment and He will lift you up! Don't lose your sense of humor; one needs to laugh in the face of adversity.
Praying for you, dear friend, and hoping you'll have many better days, months, and years ahead.


Melissa Miller said...

Ceekay I am praying hard for you. I just KNOW you will do well with the new plan. We both know not giving up is the way to be for life.
You are strong and wonderful. A great combo.

Love ya my friend. ~Melissa

Pat said...

You are strong! You shall overcome! I know this is another challenge but all of us are here to walk this path with you. There WILL be something new and I thank God there is. There is great power in so many praying for you ~ 'where two or more are gathered in My name..'
You are a beautiful person and only good things are wished for you!